Have you ever wondered why some people are able to stay calm in the midst of a crisis while others fall apart? People who can remain placid in the face of challenging times, hardship, trauma, threats and tragedies have what psychologists call resilience. It’s the ability to cope with problems and setbacks.
A natural result of the recession is the psychological impact it has on people, lowering confidence and creating despondency and feelings of helplessness. Yet some people seem to be able to remain unaffected, going about their lives in their usual good form. Sounds like something we could all do with, right? The good news is that it is a skill which can be taught and learned.
The word ‘resilience’ means literally to bounce back or rebound from adversity. It’s the process of adapting well in the face of significant sources of stress such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems or workplace and financial stressors. Resilience isn’t about extraordinary people achieving extraordinary things, but about developing a store of strength that we can call on when we need to.
Nor is resilience a one-sided concept. More recently research has shown than as well as helping us to ‘bounce back’ from difficulty and adversity, it can help us to ‘bounce forward’ – to seize new opportunities and seek out new experiences. It allows us to open up to life’s possibilities and opportunities, to take risks and respond in ways that broaden and enrich our lives. Resilience can be best described as a mindset, an optimistic and open orientation to the world that enables us to view our lives as a work in progress. Being able to see beyond the limits of here and now, to expand our horizons is an enriching experience which will help us create connections with people, try new experiences, bringing purpose and new meaning to our lives. Fundamental to the dimensions of resilience are optimism and hope.
Resilience in our young people can be built by helping them think clearly about their strengths and weaknesses. By teaching them the value of good relationships with others. Making them feel appreciated for their individual strengths and gifts. Increasing hope by helping them set realistic goals and having realistic expectations. Teaching them how to cope with difficulties and feel supported and helping to support others. Too often we try to shield our children from life’s difficulties. In doing so we’re doing them a disservice. Instead we can encourage them to take responsibility, giving them the confidence to take up new opportunities and help them to take a positive outlook if they don’t succeed. Discourage them from having a sense of entitlement but rather instil in them the idea that they have to work and contribute and that their contribution has value. By doing this and encouraging them to support and look out for one another and others who are more vulnerable we impart this wonderful gift to children that we call resilience.